Well, it’s that time of year when it’s ok for white people to like Mexicans. The rest of the time everyone is trying to build a wall to keep them out. Just remember, burritos are from San Diego and Margaritas from Texas.
But what is Cinco De Mayo all about you ask? Well, it’s the anniversary of when the Mexicans won the battle of Puebla over, let’s see here… FRANCE?!?! Seriously? You’re celebrating beating the French? OK, they’re sexier than a threesome with Dolly Parton and the Statue of Liberty, and they’re one of the best food nations in history, but they’re like the Ohio State of war. Sure they look tough on paper, but when it comes time to strap on the pads, it’s Dien Bien Phu/Waterloo/Maginot Line all over again.
Look, Mexico. if you want me to take you seriously, you’re gonna have to beat a real country. Russia would work. So would Turkey. The Koreans are scrappy. Hell, even Denmark would be an upgrade over the French.
