Superman- The Man. Comes from the planet Krypton, faster than a yada, yada, yada, pwns all…
would have to be Thomas Keller- The Man. Beard Award winner, Michelin stars out the ass, chef at what can only be described as one of the greatest restaurants in the world.
Batman- Brooding, dark, fancies himself an outsider despite the fact everyone seems to sort of like him. Also, makes up for his lack of super powers with guile, cunning, and quick wit.
Sounds a lot like Anthony Bourdain to me. Sure, he never had his own three Michelin star restaurant (i.e.- “super powers”) but he’s respected by pretty much who’s ever worked in a restaurant. We have our noses way up his ass ’round these parts.
This would also make Batman’s sidekick Robin/Nightwing…
Bourdain’s buddy (and awesome writer himself), Micheal Ruhlman.
Wonder Woman- Beautiful but has the chops to hang with the big boys. Mediterranean, has a lasso that makes people tell the truth AND an invisible jet. Can kick the living crap out of you because she was raised by a tribe of psychotic warrior priestesses.
Could Giada De Laurentiis work here? Sure, why not? We’ve gone like a whole week without finding an excuse to show a picture of her yet. Oh, if only she lived in an invisible house…
Green Lantern- Given a superpowered ring by an alien who was looking for an Earthling “completely honest and without fear”, Test Pilot Hal Jordan became the Green Lantern and assigned to protect Earth.
“Without Fear” you say? I submit to you Grant Achatz. After being diagnosed with tounge cancer (the most ironic cancer possible for a chef), he was given a choice… cut off a part of his tounge and be unable to regain most of his sense of taste, yet have a higher survival rate OR try a risky regimen of chemotherapy, possibly save his sense of taste, yet go with the lower survival rate. He choose the riskier path because it meant he could save his sense of taste. Ballsy…
Martian Manhunter- Alien shapeshifting telepath, equal to Superman in terms of strength
His food is alien, and often changes form from what you’d otherwise expect. And also is the chef at one of the few restaurants to rival Thomas Keller’s… El Bulli’s Ferran Adrià.
The Flash- Comic relief, cocky, quick as hell, lots of random enemies…
Bobby Flay is an Iron Chef. You have to be quick, cocky, and face off against a lot of people to do that. I guess.
The Atom- Science dude. Shrinks his own size down to the molecular level. Not a “front line” guy but totally knows his role and is comfortable in it. Dedicated family guy, and gets a lot of respect from everyone in the Justice League.
Alton Brown fits the superhero “geek” role very nicely. And besides, all those silly props he uses on his show make him look microscopic…
Aquaman- Moody, Talks to fish.
Tom Douglas- From Seattle (where people are moody), good with fish, looks like him in this picture… Also, happens to be the only chef on this list whose food I’ve actually eaten.
(Hello Eater Readers! Coming soon: The Marvel Superhero edition.)
I larfed. Bat-Bourdain For The Win, I think….
So that means, using Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns as a template, Bourdain will eventually kill Keller for being the Tool of the Establishment. And Micheal Ruhlman’s Robin would then be played by a 14 year-old girl….
Gordon Ramsey as Guy Gardner, clearly. Red-headed, temper, and all.
You sir, are a genius. Me love this post long time. MrGeek and I have been watching the JL series every night since gettting the disc sets for Xmas. We are also slaves to delicious food, well prepared by people who take our senses into their gentle care and open up the universe. And we never miss an AB or Bordain episode.